It Runs In The Family, I Tell Ya

Inane conversation with my mom this morning.

me: my visa got approved.. phew!
mom: great! where will you be this time next week?
me: i dunno.. was thinking of making a trip to perth.. you want?
mom: can.. i don't need to apply for leave.. i'm very close to my boss..
me: i've heard that you sleep with him..
mom: shh don't talk so loud..

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

And if anyone wondered why I am SO bo liao, now you know.

Anyway, my mom has picked up the "where will you be this time next week?" from me. So cute. I've been doing that to her all week long. And her boss is my dad (in case anyone was going "OMG?!") so don't worry. No scandals.

Whee!

Sometimes Wishes Do Come True

Happiness! Wild Pot will be putting mee siam and mee rubus back on their menu! After a 1 year 5 month hiatus, they have decided that the current menu needs a revamp, and are bringing back old favourites!

Be still, my heart!

When they took mee siam (actually I don't really care for the mee rubus) out of the menu in December 2009, Shiny and I were depressed. Mee siam was a staple breakfast item, and we bonded over countless of plates of the heavenly stuff. We'd always ask for extra gravy, slurp it all up, and 2 days later (mee siam used to be sold on alternate days), we'd be ready for it again.

Anyway, apparently mee siam will be on the menu next week. Next week! Whee!!!

My Google-Fu Is Really Quite Power One

I don't know why people are surprised when I email something that's different from the random links to funny articles, videos and all sorts of nonsense that I've digged up from the internet. If I know you have an interest in a particular area, and I come across something I think you'd like- I'll just forward it across. Or when we're chatting about a particular topic, and I pull out links that are related. No biggie, right?

Sure, majority of the stuff I send are either of the "WTF is that?!" or "Aww so cute!" variety. Or just really, really bizarre. After all, I am very bo liao. But ahem, I also do read quite a lot and have fairly varied interests, so just because I prefer talking about the inane doesn't mean I'm incapable of intelligent discussion, m'kay?

True Friendship Part 2

Was chatting with CH and told her about my upcoming work trip to India. And since Bangalore was one of the cities I'll have to visit, she actually offered to go with me so that I wouldn't have to be alone. Bless.

I'm so lucky to have such awesome friends.

I Hate Him

Hate hate hate hate hate.

True Friendship

Waah LGG is in Croatia now and saw a giant jar of nutella. Almost immediately she pinged to ask if I wanted it.

No need to ask! Of course I want!

Yaaaaaaaaaaay! *dreams of hugging giant tub of nutella to sleep*

It's A Tough One

Had dinner with Alvin tonight and he asked us a very interesting question: What are you most proud of?

LGG, Ching and I sat there pondering, and in order to buy some time, I threw the question back at him. "Saving someone's life," he said promptly. Apparently he saved someone from drowning many, many years back.

Well, it's easy to be proud of that, I guess. How many of us have literally saved someone's life? Ok lah, I change people's destinies in my job- but it's a function of my role, not a personal achievement that I was singlehandedly responsible for.

Honestly, I can't think of an answer to that question. It seems to suggest some struggle overcome, or a crowning glory won through hard work. Struggle? Hard work? Jialat lah, I don't think those words are part of my vocabulary.

It's something to think about then. I'm sure there has to be *something* I'm most proud of. Hmmm.

So Hot + Random Thoughts

Gah the weather is so hot and muggy that I woke up all drenched in sweat. I had to change my t-shirt because it was so damp.

Anyway, now that I'm up, I can't seem to get back to sleep. The sheets under my body are heating up, and I'm just feeling so bloody uncomfortable. Blech. Trying to sleep but can't, so I thought I'd read myself to sleep and settled on reading my old blog entries.

Haiz, not the best idea. Especially not at 2am in the middle of the night, reading all the happy words I used to pen down about me and the grasshopper. How happy and hopeful and excited I used to be about us. Apparently I was the only one feeling that way. Pfft.

I wish I could muster up some energy to think about how I feel, but all I can say is meh. Whatever. Life goes on, and it's all in the past anyways. Plus, the weather is already so hot, no point getting all agitated or upset or bothered or anything.

心静自然凉

Gotta try and channel my inner breeze and cool myself down.

Coffee = Bad Idea

Oh man, whatever possessed me to have that soy latte at 4pm today? Gah. It's now 1.30am and I'm wide awake. (At least that soy latte was yummy.)

If this happened on a Friday or Saturday, it's perfectly ok because a late night just translates into me sleeping in the next day. But I can't sleep in because I have to go to work. Bleh.

I've tried everything- reading a book, playing tower defense games, and .. oh wait. I've not taken my melatonin.

*looks for pills*

Let's hope this works.

[ETA: Sweet, sweet slumber finally found me. *hearts melatonin pills*]

Commitment

I thought the article on true love and commitment was a fantastic read. And how true it is: a relationship can only be successful if both parties are committed to making it work. It cannot be a one sided relationship where one wants something that the other person doesn't.

What is commitment anyway? To me, it's deciding that this is the person that you want to be with, and giving your all- no matter what. It's knowing that the other party has the same desire to make the relationship work, and trusting that the person would put in the effort, just as you would.

And it's in that knowledge of deep commitment, that love and trust between two parties grow, and it's a constant effort in communication, listening, spending time together, and not taking each other for granted.

No relationships are easy. To think that being with "the right one" means no fights and is but a walk in the park, is foolishly naive. To think that being with "the right one" means things just fall into place and that everyone says the right thing at the right time, is imagining a sitcom or movie script.

Unfortunately, these days people give up too easily. They don't have the mettle to stick it out and make a relationship work. They choose the cowardly and easy way out, one that requires less effort.

I'm hopeful, though, that one day I'll meet someone who will decide to stick through thick and thin with me. Someone who decides that I'm worth his time and devotion, one who doesn't shirk the responsibility of being in a committed relationship. And if I don't? That's fine too. Life is too beautiful to wait for that one person. :)

Simple Pleasures

The smell of green grass. The cool shade under the trees. People watching. A good book. The company of friends. Dinner plans. Family gatherings.

A Stroke Of Brilliance

Wah, I've figured out the logistics of how to go to Ladakh without the hassle of having to lug my things from city to city!

Wahahahahaha.

I'm gonna convince my bosses to let me take a third trip! And this third trip can be later. Wheee!

I r so crever.

When You're Really Bo Liao

Take the bus home. Heeheehee.

Proof That We Are Very Bo Liao

neurotic_guppy
eh we will both be in aus
lol
bon
hahhahaha
yeh
call me
neurotic_guppy
in diff cities
bon
or i'll call u
neurotic_guppy
like india
LOL
bon
it's hilarious
neurotic_guppy
its local call charges
lol
bon
then we talk w aussie accent
hey mate!
neurotic_guppy
hey mate!
lol
bon
havin' a barbie?
neurotic_guppy
u think u stay 2 days got accent isit
bon
crikey!
it's cold!
LOL
neurotic_guppy
crikey is english
bon
oh salah
neurotic_guppy
yeah la
bon
ok la not like we talked to each other in indian accent the last time
neurotic_guppy
lol actually we were v boliao
our conversation was like this
you: this is so funny!
me: yeah hehehehe
you: hehehehehe
i think we spent 5mins wasting money like this
LOL

Planning Ahead (Since Tomorrow Is The Rapture)

Wendy T says
maybe the priest who says the rapture is coming tm
will go into hiding
Bona Lee says
yah thing is
Wendy T says
sekali 11.59pm to Sunday he is still around
Bona Lee says
if u really think something as big as end of world happening
i also wont go and announce so publicly lor
sekali wrong how
at most tell ur friends la
then if wrong ... kenna suan
Wendy T says
lol well if we disappear in JB
we will smell of durian
in heaven
Bona Lee says
waah
ok this is the plan
if really rapture
we grab the mangosteen
i rather have mangosteen in heaven lor
Wendy T says
yeah lor
tmr i hold on to one packet
u hold on to one
Bona Lee says
more ppl will like us if we have mangosteen rather than durian
cos not so smelly .. plus taste so nice
Wendy T says
cos i dowan to smell of durian for eternity
ur so clever
lol
Bona Lee says
heehee
Wendy T says
never say we dont plan ahead

Lazzzy Day!

Lol so many people have pinged me on MSN / gchat with this exact same message:

Zzz

What's with everyone feeling sleepy today? I know I'm sleepy too, but everyone else as well? Is it the weather? Post lunch snooze bug?

Mid Week Breaks

Public holidays that fall mid-week are the best. It was Vesak Day yesterday, so Monday felt like a Friday. It's an oddly happy feeling know that it's the first day of the work week, but that you didn't need to come in to the office the next day. By the end of Monday afternoon, all my emails were getting so corny (I was in such a good mood!) and ended with "Happy Tuesday! We don't have to come in to work, YAY!"

Hehehe.

So, it feels like a Monday today, but guess what? It's Wednesday! We're THAT much closer to the weekend! Woot! Imagine how big the grin on my face is.

Because I Am Bored At Work, I Shall Blog About Bhangra Night

The subject header says it all. Don't want to work. Want to be in bed. So shall blog about.. Bhangra Night.

Friday night started innocently enough. Met Ching for dinner after work, and it felt like one of those nights that you didn't want to go home so early. So we decided to head on to New Asia Bar since we didn't know where else to go. As New Asia Bar was crowded, we went down to City Space instead - a nice chill out place with ridiculously expensive cocktails. Everything was so steep - cocktails were $20 at happy hour prices! *gag*

Opened up a bottle of Moet instead, with Ching only having 2 glasses and me polishing off the rest of the bottle. We sat there, chit chatting about everything under the sun, and dissing Damian for ditching us. He finally called to ask if we wanted to go to Clarke Quay, and even before we could agree on the place and time to meet, Ching was calling for the bill. (Am I that boring? Hmmm.)

Anyway, we decided to walk to Clarke Quay, partially to kill time while Damian got ready and partially to sober up some. Classic drunk-Ching moment was when she saw a trishaw and wanted to hop on. "It used to cost 80 cents! I'll pay him $10! It's 1000% inflation OK!" (Gotta love drunk-Ching logic heeeheehee.) Obviously, I didn't let her hop on.

Made our way to Clarke Quay and met up with Damian, Janu and Stuart at Yello Jello. We opened 2 bottles of Belvedere (yummy) which we polished off fairly quickly. Band was awesome, the music in between sets was awesome and we spent the evening dancing and drinking and dancing and drinking. It was great music and good fun. Anyway, after a while, Janu decides that she wants to go to the Rupee Room. LOLOLOLOL.

The Rupee Room is, as the name suggests, a club that plays bollywood music and (not surprisingly) frequented by Indians. The 5 of us went in and got beers. And what a sight it was. 5 pale skinned outsiders waving our arms about amidst in a sea of Indian men and women. Shimmying and shaking. Hands pumping the air. Putting what little knowledge we had of bollywood dance moves to good use. Lol.

It was hilarious, and oh so ironic that I was there. I had fun though, but was glad when the night was over and we made our way back home.

This Sucks

How does one go from constant communication for almost 2 years, to radio silence for 6 weeks straight? From knowing almost exactly what the other party is doing, to having absolutely no idea whether everything is ok? From a daily exchange of SMSes and phone calls, to not even a single peep?

It's been 6 weeks since he made the decision to end things. Only six weeks? It feels like an eternity. As though I've lost track of time, where most of my days pass in a drunken stupor. I can't even remember what I had for dinner 2 hours ago, and yet I know exactly how many days it has been since I've had my heart ripped to shreds.

The days pass and my moods fluctuate (but thankfully, not as badly as before), there are good days and there are not-so-good days. Was having lunch with Li Min and he asked me how long it has been and immediately, without pausing to think, I replied, "5 weeks 5 days." Apparently that means I'm still not over it.

Time heals all wounds bla bla bla. I know, I know. I just wish the healing didn't take so bloody long. I just wish the random outbursts in restaurants / pubs / [insert location- usually public, and totally not conducive for a sobfest] would just stop. I just wish that I can be filled with hope and an eager anticipation of the future once again.

Ah well, there is nothing I can do but soldier on.

Gotta Love My Family

My sister called my dad when I was crying, hoping that he could say something to make me feel better. Apparently my dad told my mom (who was out) what happened.

Mom came to my room and asked me if I was OK. She said "If I was a witch.. I'd cast a spell on whoever makes you cry.." And then she said, "Next time you'll be singing 'who's sorry now.. who's sorry now..' "

LOL

Everything Will Be OK

Was having dinner with my sister at Prego's this evening. I think we were talking about love and relationships, and suddenly, my eyes started tearing. Before I knew it, my head was buried in the (tomato sauce stained) napkin and I couldn't stop crying.

My sister quickly called for the bill (thankfully we were done with our meal) and the girl who came over noticed that I was sobbing. And I guess I must have looked quite pathetic because she was asking me not to cry and hurriedly came over with a complimentary piece of tiramisu.

How sweet!

Although it took me a while to calm down again, I was touched at such a simple and thoughtful gesture. As we were leaving the restaurant, I looked out for her, and she came over with a big smile and told me, "Don't cry ma'am. Everything will be OK."

Thank you, Ariane.

Memories

Waaaah I was reading all my blog posts from 2003 and found the very first time I blogged about LGG! (Apparently it was a work related post where I saved something on her computer, and she brought the computer back with her and I couldn't access the file.)

It's nice to see how some things have changed and how some things haven't. Such as how I constantly blog about

1. how sleepy I am
2. how I shouldn't drink coffee after lunch because now I cannot sleep
3. I don't wanna work
4. what to eat

Lol.

Article From My Old Blog

THE GREATEST TEST OF TRUE LOVE

The most important, most critical component in successful loving is commitment. Not love.

It's easy to love without commitment. People do it all the time. Easy to love, to give of oneself for a while. But commitment implies bonding in such a way that one promises to keep the fires of love burning indefinitely. It also means shutting one's heart to the possibility of loving another who might even be more attractive, even more lovable. Not easy. This is why solid commitments are not at all as common as we are led to believe. In fact, more often than not, I think that the commitment two lovers make are not equal. What I mean is that the commitment of one might be a whole lot more or a whole lot less than the partner's. We see it all the time. One loves more than the other and is more committed than the other. We have often seen lopsided love relationships where one partner is giving so much more to the relationship than the other.

But writers and poets seem to always indicate that love isn't just a two-way street, but an equal two-way street. That hardly ever happens. It is impossible to determine exactly how much a man loves a woman or how much a woman cares for a man. Love cannot be measured and that can be a huge problem. You can love someone and tell him "I love you" and you're telling the truth. But how much do you love him? Enough to let him court you? Enough to marry him? Enough to die for him? THE GREATEST TEST OF TRUE LOVE is commitment. And the greatest indicator of deep love is deep commitment. I have heard people say all the right words, make all the right moves and pledge undying love, only to walk away weeks or months later. Were they in love? Sure they were. But not enough to allow them to hold strong in their love. Not enough to keep a commitment regardless of the pain. Lover gets this sinking feeling when there is a sense that one is more committed than the other. When one is giving a lot more than one is receiving. When one's love is a lot more solid than the creaky love of the partner. When a couple believe strongly that their commitment to each other is rock solid, there is a deep sense of security, a feeling that it's OK to give all because the gift of yourself is safe in the hands of the beloved. If, however, there is doubt or, even worse, the conviction that one is engaged in one-way giving, in a one-way commitment that is lopsided, then there is a tendency to pull back and not give as much. And when that happens, love begins to fade.

In the countless counseling sessions I have had with troubled couples over the years, there has always been the problem of a failing commitment on the part of at least one of the partners. Unless there is the raising of the level of commitment, the relationship is doomed. It's finished. Sooner or later the stresses will take their toll and the relationship will begin to fall apart. On the other hand, look carefully at couples who are still very much in love after 20, 25 years. Their commitment to each other cannot be shaken. Neither can their love.

-Written by a well-respected marriage counsellor.

Resilience

I wrote this in October 2009.

It's funny how resilient we are. One year on, I'm traveling a lot more than I ever did. I'm meeting people from all over the world and having the time of my life. I look at myself today, and I'm happy.

It was a year after I left my ex-husband, I had just met the grasshopper, and everything in my life seemed to be picking up. I had a job that I enjoyed, travelled a lot, and was in a happy place.

Today, I have faith that the words I penned down will ring true for me again. It's easy to fall into pits of despair and depression, but things aren't all that bad (even though it may seem that way).

Baby steps, Bon.

When You're Gone

And in the night, I could be helpless,
I could be lonely, sleeping without you.

And in the day, everything's complex,
There's nothing simple, when I'm not around you.

But I'll miss you when you're gone, that is what I do. Hey, baby!
And it's going to carry on, that is what I do. hey, baby...

This Is What I Miss

Eye to eye
Cheek to cheek
Side by side
You were sleeping next to me
Arm to arm
Dusk to dawn
With the curtains drawn
And a little last nite on these sheets

OMG

I think my soul just died a little.

Bleh.

Sent out a work email, enthusing about some initiatives that we were working on, and letting everyone know how excited I was to help.

I'm so going to hell for lying about saying that I care about my job.

From DailyOM

Change will occur in almost every aspect of our lives, we can learn to embrace it while releasing the past with grace.

One Month, One Day

Oh I just realised that it's been a month and a day since. And how better to spend this day than to pamper oneself at home.

Ah, This Is Nice

I'm sitting nekkid in my room now, masking my hair and face. *contented sigh* I'd go get my nails done, but it started to pour, so I might stay in today for a while.

Rainy weather, such a welcome change from the blistering heat we've been having the past couple of days.

Hopefully the rain will ease up some, and I can head down to town for my Muay Thai class. I haven't gone all week and I'm feeling the pain of spending hundreds a month on my membership fees. Yikes.

Time Off

Time off is a wonderful thing. It's not official leave, but it's compensation for time worked on weekends. Decided to take the day off today, mostly because I wanted to prove to Sharon and Linda that I have an awesome boss who lets me take off (mostly) whenever I want, and also because I don't really have work to do so I don't see the point of being in the office. Lol.

It's amazing how quickly time passes when you're in bed. Already it's 11.20am and I'm still in my PJs. Hehehe. I did make some pasta for brunch / early lunch, so it's not like I was totally unproductive today.

Hmm I might get my nails done. They are getting too long and it's hard to type. Plus, isn't that what girls are supposed to do in their free time?

Ah, bliss.

Why Feelings Don't Make Sense

Sigh. The grasshopper unfollowed me from Twitter today. "Yeah, so what? You unfollowed him first right?" you may ask.

Well, all I can say is I don't know. I don't know why it made me feel sad all over again, and even though LGG says he has to move on too, it still sucks.

Bleh.

So I met esdee for a pint (or three) at Harry's and we had a nice catch up. Man, I've not seen her in 14 years! We talked about all and sundry and drowned our boy-sorrows at the pub. Drinking on an empty stomach = quick buzz. Nice.

Had dinner with Sharon and Linda after. What's with me catching up with old school friends today? Lol. Treated myself to a nice steak, had a banana split and made my way home.

Emotional eater I am.

I shouldn't be getting affected by what he does, after all it's not like I tweet for his benefit. Half my tweets are ramblings about how I don't wanna wake or what I want to eat. But feelings don't make sense, do they? The heart can't help but be illogical.

So just like everything he has said and done in the past month, it's one more sign to cutting all ties between us. I wish I didn't still feel so sad, but I do.

Time to move on.

Tom Yum Soup vs Booty Calls

I was facing a dilemma this afternoon. Well, actually it wasn't much of a dilemma as the choice was clear, but it did give me food for thought.

I got a text from this guy I met for drinks a couple of weeks ago. He was asking me what my plans were for the day. I said I wanted to catch a show, but didn't know what to watch, and all my girlfriends were feeling lazy. Plus, I had already watched Thor and Source Code- there really weren't any good movies in the cinema.

"I have a better suggestion," he texted. "Why don't you come over for beers and shisha ;)"

Unfortunately for him, the weather today was oh-so-lazy and I was nice and comfy under my own sheets. The idea of getting up, rolling out of bed, getting out of the house, making my way all the way to his place, having beers and shisha and who knows maybe a romp in the sack (why else would he suggest me to go over, right?), and then all the way back home, was just waaaay too much for my lazy mind to process.

Plus, I had just made some tom yum soup for lunch and thought it would be delightful to have some right now. So in the end my laziness won, and here I am in bed, sipping on some delicious tom yum soup. Slurp.

Conclusion: tom yum soup is more appealing than being someone's booty call.

Afternoon Dreams

Had the oddest dream during my afternoon nap today. It was especially weird cos I told LGG about it, went back to sleep, and the dream continued!!!

As dreams normally go, this one didn't make any sense at all. But the main gist of it was that I was fighting (a fighter?) but spent most of my time looking for my team and drinking the opponents' orange juice. Very confusing.

ETA: My dream actually continued the following night. This time, I had found my team mates and we were staying in a hostel in Russia. We took the bus out the following morning, not knowing that we were supposed to have packed up, so had to plead with the bus driver (who was Russian) to drive us back to the hostel so we could pick up our stuff.

Since the hostel was old and dilapidated, I was coughing really badly and hacked out giant balls of neon green phlegm. Gross.

Woke up with my throat slightly inflamed. Interestingly, I get these recurring hacking-giant-balls-of-phlegm/hacking-out-my-tongue type dreams when I have a sore throat.

Don't Be So Emo, Can?

Caaaaan. Lol. That last post about my life sucking was a drunken one which I don't even remember blogging. Apparently I've evolved to drunken blogging, at least there are no typos hehe.

My life doesn't suck. Far from it. There are too many awesome people in my life that make me laugh and smile and who love me so much. One less grasshopper is not that big a loss.

BentoSet chided me for still thinking about him, and said I should not want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. True dat. So got to be zen and just cherish the good moments that we had yada yada. Yawn. But being bitter and emotional makes better blog material though. Lol.

Anyway, don't need to worry so much about me. I'm ok. I think the days of sobbing inconsolably outside No5 are over. Losing one pair of glasses is enough. Still got cry, but not so much liao. Can't help the odd tear now and then, but that takes time to heal.

Am keeping myself busy and cutting down on the boozing (really).

Anyway, let's do dinner next week. (Yes, CH this blog post was written for you. You're one of the awesome people mentioned above. *hugs*)