Reflections

It's hard to imagine that another year / 12 months / 365 (ok 362) days have passed. So many things have happened. My life turned upside down in such a short span of time.

As everyone already knows, the most significant thing that happened to me in 2008 was that my marriage ended. Of all the ups and downs, this was the one incident that shook me up the most.

The man that I thought I'd be spending the rest of my life with turned out to be someone I now realise I never really knew all that well. The family that took me in as one of their own, has now become a part of my past and not future. The life I had envisioned, and made sacrifices for, all gone.

I accept what has happened, and I know and understand why things fell apart. But while I'm surely and steadily moving on with my life, coming to terms with the situation, making changes in my life that can only be for the better, I wonder how this experience has changed me.

For one, I now truly understand what it means to have the unconditional love and support of your family. My parents and sister have been wonderfully supportive and kind, giving me advice when asked, and space when I needed to be alone. My relatives have been very considerate, accepting the situation without drilling me on the details.

Friends have been great, with a few of them already lining up potential dates for 2009. Lol. I've cast aside the anti-social streak that plagued me for most part of 2008, and met up with more people in the past 2 months than I have in the rest of the year. (Of course it helps that I'm no longer living in the boondocks.)

I'm still not sure what my outlook on life and love is now though. I've definitely become a little bit more skeptical, looking at my peers who are happily getting married and settling down and wondering to myself how long it'll be before they split.

But I'd like to think that all this will pass. I'd like to think that one day I'll believe that it is possible to have a 'happily ever after', that marriages that last a lifetime are not just a thing of my parents' generation.

Right now, I'm not in any rush to jump into any relationships. (I'm not even legally divorced anyways.) I don't even want to think much about 2009. But now I know what LGG meant when she said that she was content to just drift, to not have any plans, to live day by day.

Things are definitely looking up for 2009 though. Bring it on.