Catharsis

Ignore my last post about not whining. I think I need to keep writing. It's a form of catharsis and helps me pen down the jumbled thoughts in my head.

Had a rather interesting dream last night. Or at least I think it was a dream, or maybe it was just me visualising.

..

Somehow a path just opened up in front of me. It was a white curving path that led downslope, and as I walked, I realised that I was walking (quite literally) into my own head.

It's hard to describe what the inside of my head looked like, but the "walls" were white and soft.. OMG I just realised they remind me of the padded walls mental hospital holding cells. Bleh. Except that in my head, the walls weren't flat but rounded, kinda like giant balls.

Anyway I'm walking around inside my head and I'm thinking to myself that it would probably be a good idea to turn off the tears. Crying for one week straight is very tiring, you know. So I navigate to my left eyeball, where there was a giant wheel (something like those red wheels in movies that they have to turn to close pipes) that I could turn to turn off the tears. And of course, I went to my right eyeball and did the same.

Decided to look for my stomach so that I could turn off the constant naseating ache. I also wanted to go to my heart and turn off the overwhelming feeling of consuming pain. But seeing as I was literally in my head, the walk seemed a little too far. I sat there, desperate to do something, anything to make these feelings disappear, but someone in my head told me, "Just let it be."

..

So I guess I'll just have to let it be (until I have another dream / visualisation).