What A Way To End The Year

I'm not one to kiss and tell (on my blog, I mean. Of course close girlfriends get ALL the gory details.) but I just found out something that has changed my entire perspective of the soon-to-be-ex-husband.

All I can say is that all my guy friends were probably right and I was probably very wrong.

Simple Statistics

I noticed that there's a correlation between the number of friends I have on MSN to the number of blog entries I post each day. The more friends I have on MSN, the less likely I am to blog that day. And likewise, now that everyone is on leave and out of the country for their year end holidays (I miss Yummy and LGG), the number of blog posts *whoosh!* increase.

Too Much, Too Soon

Heart palpitating now.

 

Also, other ways to keep awake? Spam blog.

CYBER-SHOUTING KEEPS ME AWAKE

I'M UP AFTER ABOUT ONLY 2 HOURS OF SLEEP. I AM GUZZLING AN ULTIMATE ICE BLENDED FROM THE COFFEE BEAN AND TEA LEAF IN AN ATTEMPT TO STAY AWAKE.

THANKFULLY I DON'T HAVE ANY PLANS AFTER WORK TODAY. OR DO I? HMM.

HAVING LUNCH WITH EUNICE LATER. HOPE MY COFFEE LASTS THAT LONG. HAHAHAHA.

I Don't Think I Had Caffeine Today, Did I?

Aiyah. It's almost 5am and I'm still awake.

Sometimes My Brain Takes A While To Process Stuff

I just realised I haven't had anything to eat for dinner except for some popcorn while watching the movie. Let's see, all I had this evening was an iced lemon tea, a hot chocolate, and then a glass of grapefruit juice.

No wonder I'm hungry now.

Today (Or Rather, Yesterday)

Wah. It's almost 3am and I'm still up. I'm still up because I just got home about half an hour ago. I can't even remember the last time I got home so late!

Anyway, had lunch with the Alligator today. It's been more than 6 months since I met the boy and (babe, if you're reading this, I apologise) he really needs a haircut. Hahaha. I didn't have much time to spend with him but we had a good catch up- cramming 6 months worth of updates into slightly less than an hour.

Went for a jog at the gym for the first time in forever and managed to get a short run in before my silly knee started acting up. I *think* I managed to cover slightly under 3km in about 20min. Not too bad. Was pleasantly surprised to see Tristan working there, had a quick chat before I had to run off to meet Ki.

Note to self: find out how much PT packages are now. Or take the advice of a certain Martian, and learn how to do weight training properly.

Watched Yes Man with Ki, and even though I'm meeting her more than our quota calls for, we managed to enjoy each other's company still. Lol. The movie wasn't too bad, although I must say we've watched funnier Jim Carrey shows before.

Had coffee hot chocolate with her after. Talked about family and friends, holidays, holidays gone wrong, relationships-you name it. I'm glad we're making more effort now to keep in touch (meeting up TWICE in a year! Wow.) and that we're starting to get close again. *hugssssssslovessssssssssmuacksssssssssssss*

Got chased out of Starbucks when it was closing time and was about to head home when I got a call from the Martian. Since I wasn't feeling tired (too much sugar in the system), we met up and headed down to Club Street for a drink. Ah, Club Street. The place which saw many drunken nights of my past.

It was really odd going back to the area, a place that I used to frequent so often. Settled on Indochine and hung out there till the place closed. One of the positive things that has come out of my split is that I'm now meeting more people, making more friends. Today was a perfect example of how much I've missed in the past 3-4 years, especially so in the last 12 months.

Ah well. Better late than never, right?

Was glad to meet so many people today. I'm very pleased. Wallet is a lot lighter now, but I think it's all well worth it. Time to go to bed. 2 more days to the new year!

It's A Miracle!

I'm actually going to be meeting Ki again tonight! That's more than once a year! Amazing.

Sweat It Out

I've been awfully lazy about working out this past couple of months. Fine. Make it this past couple of years. Hehe.

Wanted to go for a jog but it was raining and I was feeling too lazy to haul my fat ass to the gym. So eventually I settled on a couple of simple exercises that I did at home.

Sit ups, push ups, squats- the usual. Finished up my little workout with some stretching and now I'm waiting to stop perspiring so that I can take a much needed shower.

Feels good to get this creaky body of mine moving though. My sweat glands haven't been used in way too long and now they seem to be on overdrive.

Need to be more disciplined about exercising! I know I say it every year, and each time this is one of my greatest struggles. Pfft.

Oh well. Baby steps, I say. Think I'll pack my gym attire and head on to the gym tomorrow before meeting the Alligator for dinner.

Reflections

It's hard to imagine that another year / 12 months / 365 (ok 362) days have passed. So many things have happened. My life turned upside down in such a short span of time.

As everyone already knows, the most significant thing that happened to me in 2008 was that my marriage ended. Of all the ups and downs, this was the one incident that shook me up the most.

The man that I thought I'd be spending the rest of my life with turned out to be someone I now realise I never really knew all that well. The family that took me in as one of their own, has now become a part of my past and not future. The life I had envisioned, and made sacrifices for, all gone.

I accept what has happened, and I know and understand why things fell apart. But while I'm surely and steadily moving on with my life, coming to terms with the situation, making changes in my life that can only be for the better, I wonder how this experience has changed me.

For one, I now truly understand what it means to have the unconditional love and support of your family. My parents and sister have been wonderfully supportive and kind, giving me advice when asked, and space when I needed to be alone. My relatives have been very considerate, accepting the situation without drilling me on the details.

Friends have been great, with a few of them already lining up potential dates for 2009. Lol. I've cast aside the anti-social streak that plagued me for most part of 2008, and met up with more people in the past 2 months than I have in the rest of the year. (Of course it helps that I'm no longer living in the boondocks.)

I'm still not sure what my outlook on life and love is now though. I've definitely become a little bit more skeptical, looking at my peers who are happily getting married and settling down and wondering to myself how long it'll be before they split.

But I'd like to think that all this will pass. I'd like to think that one day I'll believe that it is possible to have a 'happily ever after', that marriages that last a lifetime are not just a thing of my parents' generation.

Right now, I'm not in any rush to jump into any relationships. (I'm not even legally divorced anyways.) I don't even want to think much about 2009. But now I know what LGG meant when she said that she was content to just drift, to not have any plans, to live day by day.

Things are definitely looking up for 2009 though. Bring it on.

AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!

I was feeling pensive and was reflecting upon the past year and wrote a particularly long blog entry last night. Because it was so long, I got too tired to finish it and so decided to save it as a draft and go to bed.

Or so I thought. Apparently, I was too tired to save the draft properly because IT'S GONE. Argh!

Anyway, now I don't really feel like re-writing the entire thing and I can't even remember what much of my train of thought last night. *sigh*

Merry Christmas!

*burp*

Man, I'm stuffed. We had a gatherng at our place last night, and I ate so much. We didn't really have the typical Christmas dishes one would expect, but my mom made lasagne (always a winner), meatloaf (something she used to make a long long time ago) and the cousins brought roast duck and meats. There was also macaroni salad and lots of chocolate. Yummy.

My sis had bought the DVD for The Nightmare Before Christmas and we watched that last night, while everyone huddled together on the couch. It was such a cold night and it was the perfect weather for lazing in and watching TV. The family proved ourselves to be dysfunctional once again, when we actually educated my 9yo niece on the difference between wines and beers (and yes, we let her have a small glass).

No plans for today. Was supposed to go to a friend's place for Christmas lunch but by the time I finally woke up it was already 1.45pm so I stayed home and had leftovers. Downloaded the Twilight ebook and spent the last couple of hours reading it. Think I'll get back to reading hehe.

Anyway, Merry Christmas!

Rain, Rain, Come Again

It's raining and I don't feel like leaving the house. Hahaha.

So might as well blog.

Things I need to do:

1. Get Christmas presents. Haha. Yes, I know it's Christmas eve already but.. Ok, I have no excuses. I was just lazy.
2. Buy ingredients to bake cake for Christmas. I should have done this earlier but.. Ok, I have no excuses. I was just lazy.
3. Write blog post about reflections on 2008. Actually I've started the draft but.. Ok, I have no excuses. I was just lazy.

*changes topic*

I think I'll grab a cup of coffee later. Can barely keep my eyes open. Hehehe.

Blogging More

Ki says I should blog more. Ok.

 

Here you go.

 

Lol.

An Awesome Week

I must say that this has been a great week.

Watched Twilight with Yummy on Tuesday and I must say now I understand why she was gushing on and on about the show. Yes, LGG may mock us but 1. I want a vampire lover 2. I want a 'vegetarian' vampire family to accept me as one of their own and protect me from the evil vampires. Hehe.

Met Ki on Wednesday and watched Twilight again. It's been yonks since we last met, but some things just don't change. Don't know what it is about watching movies with her, but we always end up in giggling fits. Or rather, this time we were hur hur hur-ing away.

Grabbed a drink at TCC and chatted for the rest of the evening. Having read all of the books, she was able to fill in some of the gaps which made me understand certain bits of the movie better.

Then I had dinner with Paul today and the last time we met was, ironically, at my wedding. Lucky he didn't demand his ang pao back. Lol. Had a really insightful chat about relationships and marriage.

One of the best things about meeting friends who have known you from your school days is that they know the real you. The person not yet jaded by life's disappointments. The person who is filled with ambition and hope for the future.

Have a BBQ tomorrow with the Planet Zork alumni. Yaay! Better go to bed then.

One Of Those Annoyingly Chipper Blog Posts

Hehehehehe I'm so happy today. Annoyingly chipper. Everyone on MSN is asking me why and honestly? I don't know.

 

But who cares? A happy bunny is a hmm happy bunny. Lol.

 

La di da. I feel like skipping but I'm wearing heels and wearing a skirt. So I'll just mentally skip. *skip skip skip* Or should it be *hop hop hop* Hehehehe.

 

Late Night Telly

Watched Love Actually on the telly last night and the show ended only at 1.30am. I wasn't sure if I wanted to watch the show or go to bed (early morning today!) but decided to just go ahead and watch it since I've actually never caught the show, despite the numerous reruns.

 

I'm 5 years too late, but better late than never eh?

 

Anyway, by the time the show was over and I got settled into bed and all, it was really late. Almost 3am. *yawn* So now I need to find me some coffee or red bull. *yawn again*

The Weekend

I didn't do much this weekend. Had coffee with LGG on Saturday and had a really long chat about everything- our divorces, how 2008 has been for us, and how we know that 2009 will be a better year.

It's always comforting and insightful to chat with LGG about this whole experience because she understands exactly what I am going through, even though the details of our situations are obviously different.

She commented that I seem happy now. Happier than she's seen me in the past months. And I must say, I think I am. I think I have come to terms with the split, accepted what is happening, taken the necessary steps to try to move on with my life.

I've been trying to focus on the positive things in my life, surrounding myself with family and friends who care for me. Keeping myself busy. Thinking happy thoughts.

Of course I have my moments, moments where I feel guilty. Does moving on so quickly mean that my marriage wasn't all that important to me? How can I be happy when I don't even know whether my ex-spouse is doing well? Does moving on mean that I am cold and heartless?

*shrugs*

I just have to remind myself that I did try my best, I did want my marriage to work, but it takes two hands to clap. Plus, there are just too many things that are not within our control. I don't have much regrets, and I just have to try not to think so much about the past.

Anyway, spent the rest of the day watching the Secret Diary of a Call Girl which is based on the blogs of an anonymous London call girl, Belle de Jour. I remember reading the blog for a bit last time, but never really followed it closely.

The TV series was so interesting, it kept me up all Saturday night. Which meant I spent all of today sleeping, haha.

Oh well. There you go, my weekend.

This Is What I Chat About

Advocaat says:
have, not has

bon's brains has returned! says:
i guess they havent

Advocaat says:
haha sorry to be the bearer of bad news

bon's brains have returned! partially. says:
LOL

Things I Need To Do

Stop punishing myself by wearing closed toe heels! Ugh. There is a reason why I never wore them last time, and even though Peter Ishkhans from the Style Network channel says that "comfort is not a style", comfort is still way better than pain.

 

*sob*

 

Yeah, I know I don't have any blisters but the crampy toes suck. As LGG happily told me when I asked her if I'll ever get used to this, our nerves will eventually die and we won't feel anything in our feet anymore. But of course, she's had over a decade headstart from me.

 

Dammit.

Bunny's Tip Of The Day

I wore a new pair of closed toe heels yesterday and was so worried that my feet would end up dotted with blisters by the end of the day. To do my best to prevent that from happening, I called upon the collective wisdom of all my heel-wearing girlfriends, my mom and the internet and came up with a plan of attack.

 

1. Wax the inside of the shoe. Mom grabbed a candle and one of my new shoes and rubbed the candle along the edge of the shoes (the parts which are most likely to cause blisters). I guess the general idea is to smoothen out any rough areas and reduce friction between the shoe and the delicate skin of your feet.

 

2. Break the shoe in at home. Put on my shoes the day before and pranced about the house in them. Ok, actually I just wore the heels and sat on the couch watching TV but I was curling my feet in an attempt to simulate walking so that the shoe would stretch some.

 

3. Use an anti blister stick. They're a tad pricy though, I think $12 for a small tube that will probably last the week. What you do is rub the anti blister stick on your feet (not on the shoes!) on the places that you think you might get a blister. It supposedly moisturises your feet as it protects, creating a layer in between the feet and the shoes to reduce friction. Of course, I had to reapply it a couple of times throughout the day as it begins to wear out.

 

The verdict? Number of blisters at the end of the day: half. I spotted one almost forming and managed to avoid making it "full blown" by slapping on more anti blister. Unfortunately, the wide feet were so unused to being in cramped closed toe shoes and walking around for hours didn't help much.

 

There were other suggestions on how to prevent having blisters, such as using a plaster on places you think you're going to get a blaster and also using some of those gel sticker things on your shoe. At the end of the day, all you want to do is reduce the amount of friction between the shoe and your feet and the chances of getting a blister will diminish.

I Cannot Stay Awake The Entire Day Without Help

I was going to brag about how I managed to last the ENTIRE day without having any coffee, and then I realised that actually, I did have a cup of kopi at abt 9.30am and lots of green tea (maybe 5 or 6 cups?) during lunch.

No wonder I managed to stay awake the whole day. Hehehehe.

Anyway, ran into Huda at Cathay in the evening and had a quick little chat with her. Seems like things in her workplace is really, really messy now. Spoke to her about some of mutual friends we have (her colleagues) and seems like everyone isn't very happy now. Sucks.

Oh well, tough times.

Operation Caffeine Overdose

It's almost 11pm and I really should be sleeping. I have an early day tomorrow and judging by how I've been sleeping 10-12 hours each day, I really ought to have gone to bed at 6pm just now. Hehehe.

Anyway, old habits die hard. But thankfully I have a plan to keep awake the whole day. I wonder what time Starbucks opens?

Muallaf And The Rediscovery Of The Wonder That Is Carl's Jr Burgers

Went to watch Muallaf at the Picturehouse on Wednesday with LGG and Yummy. You can read the synopsis of the movie here. Cousin.e recommended the movie and while it's not your typical Hollywood blockbuster type of show, it was a very simple and touching story that really made you think about forgiveness.

As the movie was showing at 7.15pm, we didn't have time to go for dinner, so we planned to dabao food and sneak it in the cinema. The original plan was to go to that Turkish place that we used to frequent in our Planet Zork days, but everyone was running late and we settled on burgers from Carl's Jr instead.

We bought some popcorn to conceal the fact that we were going to smuggle food in, but didn't realise that when they said "no food or drinks allowed" they really meant no food or drinks allowed. (We thought they meant no outside food or drinks allowed.) So there we were, standing outside the entrance to the movie area, trying to finish as much popcorn as we could.

Got to our seats, sans popcorn, and waited till the movie started before taking out our hidden stash of food. We had aisle seats and kept on checking that no one was going to come in and find out we had food and throw us out. Lol.

The last time I had a burger from Carl's Jr was probably what, 3 years ago when the chain first came to Singapore. I remember thinking that the burgers were ok, but balked at paying their higher prices. This time, I took my first bite of their portobello mushroom burger and OMG IT WAS SO GOOD. When I finished my burger, Yummy was only halfway done!

We shared their beef chilli cheese fries, and that was also really delicious. In fact, it was so good that I had it again last night when I was out with my sister. Left the cinema feeling really happy, because I enjoyed the show and had a really good (sneaky) dinner.

Where I Still Do Not Become A Qualified Driver

I could have, but didn't. Thanks to a little piece of concrete along the side of the road that decided that it wanted to be in my way as I made a left turn. Damn you, kerb! Damn you!

Apparently, I did better than the last time I took my driving test, but then again maybe the tester took pity on me because I was crying in the car. After all, I had already failed so maybe he wanted to soften the blow but not penalising me with too many demerit points. Who knows.

Ah well. Third time lucky? 31 January 2009 is the magic date.

My Second Attempt

In about 8 hours time I'll be gearing up for my second attempt at my driving test. The last time I took the test, I didn't hit anything (or anyone) but apparently that's not enough to qualify you as a driver on the roads. Hmph.

Well, I didn't book that many revision lessons, only three, because most sessions were already booked and I had to wait and see if there were any available slots. The advice I was given was that I need to exaggerate some of my actions so that the tester will know that I know what to do. *turns head slow-motion to check blind spot*

Anyway, let's hope I pass this time round. It's expensive having to rebook driving tests and lessons and come next week I won't have as much free time anymore.

Wish me luck!

A Boring Post About My Hair

It's already December! Every time this year, I seem to say the same thing. It's amazing how fast time has passed.

Anyway, I finally got a haircut today and I must say I like it. The stylist who cut my hair actually noticed that my hair was finer than it used to be (and it was my first time going to that salon!) and that I had an oily scalp which was probably cause of all that hair loss.

He gave some explanation about why my hair was falling (can't remember much though- we were speaking in Chinese) and gave some suggestions on how to manage the problem. If I recall correctly, my hair loss had to do with 1. stress 2. oily scalp 3. wrong hair products.

I never knew that we should shampoo our hair twice each time. He called it 2 layer shampooing, or something. Once to wash away dust and grime, and once more to really make sure that the scalp is clean.

And he also advised me not to sleep with wet hair (I don't anymore but used to) because it will encourage the scalp to become more oily. Thankfully there are lots of baby hair, which means that my hair follicles aren't dead and that hair is still growing. *phew*

Well, eventually I got me some shampoo that is supposed to be good to prevent hair loss. Sigh, so young and balding already. It wasn't the one he recommended but I'll just try it for the time being and see how it goes.

Here's a picture of me right after my haircut. I was walking around waiting for my sister to get off work so we could have dinner together.



Anyway, check him out.

Tony Chiang (Day off: Wednesday)
Stylist
Creative Salon
1 Maritime Square
#02-113 HarbourFront Centre
Singapore 099253
Tel: +65 6273 0308 / 6273 0311

My Dream Better Come True

Had this dream a couple of nights ago. Actually it was really short, in my dream I owned a car and was picking a heavily pregnant Eunice up in the morning to head to work together.

My analysis:

1/ Eunice is heavily pregnant. Since her baby is due in April 2009, this means all this happens in the first quarter of 2009.
2/ I'm driving. Which means I passed my driving test!
3/ I'm driving to work. Which means I've got a job!
4/ I'm driving to work in MY car. Which means I get a job and earning so much I can afford a car! (Or dating a super rich man who has extra cars to lend give me.)

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Help! Any idea why this message keeps popping up on my computer? How do I stop it from reappearing?