This Sucks

How does one go from constant communication for almost 2 years, to radio silence for 6 weeks straight? From knowing almost exactly what the other party is doing, to having absolutely no idea whether everything is ok? From a daily exchange of SMSes and phone calls, to not even a single peep?

It's been 6 weeks since he made the decision to end things. Only six weeks? It feels like an eternity. As though I've lost track of time, where most of my days pass in a drunken stupor. I can't even remember what I had for dinner 2 hours ago, and yet I know exactly how many days it has been since I've had my heart ripped to shreds.

The days pass and my moods fluctuate (but thankfully, not as badly as before), there are good days and there are not-so-good days. Was having lunch with Li Min and he asked me how long it has been and immediately, without pausing to think, I replied, "5 weeks 5 days." Apparently that means I'm still not over it.

Time heals all wounds bla bla bla. I know, I know. I just wish the healing didn't take so bloody long. I just wish the random outbursts in restaurants / pubs / [insert location- usually public, and totally not conducive for a sobfest] would just stop. I just wish that I can be filled with hope and an eager anticipation of the future once again.

Ah well, there is nothing I can do but soldier on.