Monday, May 30, 2011
me: my visa got approved.. phew!
mom: great! where will you be this time next week?
me: i dunno.. was thinking of making a trip to perth.. you want?
mom: can.. i don't need to apply for leave.. i'm very close to my boss..
me: i've heard that you sleep with him..
mom: shh don't talk so loud..
And if anyone wondered why I am SO bo liao, now you know.
Anyway, my mom has picked up the "where will you be this time next week?" from me. So cute. I've been doing that to her all week long. And her boss is my dad (in case anyone was going "OMG?!") so don't worry. No scandals.
Be still, my heart!
When they took mee siam (actually I don't really care for the mee rubus) out of the menu in December 2009, Shiny and I were depressed. Mee siam was a staple breakfast item, and we bonded over countless of plates of the heavenly stuff. We'd always ask for extra gravy, slurp it all up, and 2 days later (mee siam used to be sold on alternate days), we'd be ready for it again.
Anyway, apparently mee siam will be on the menu next week. Next week! Whee!!!
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Sure, majority of the stuff I send are either of the "WTF is that?!" or "Aww so cute!" variety. Or just really, really bizarre. After all, I am very bo liao. But ahem, I also do read quite a lot and have fairly varied interests, so just because I prefer talking about the inane doesn't mean I'm incapable of intelligent discussion, m'kay?
Friday, May 27, 2011
I'm so lucky to have such awesome friends.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
LGG, Ching and I sat there pondering, and in order to buy some time, I threw the question back at him. "Saving someone's life," he said promptly. Apparently he saved someone from drowning many, many years back.
Well, it's easy to be proud of that, I guess. How many of us have literally saved someone's life? Ok lah, I change people's destinies in my job- but it's a function of my role, not a personal achievement that I was singlehandedly responsible for.
Honestly, I can't think of an answer to that question. It seems to suggest some struggle overcome, or a crowning glory won through hard work. Struggle? Hard work? Jialat lah, I don't think those words are part of my vocabulary.
It's something to think about then. I'm sure there has to be *something* I'm most proud of. Hmmm.
Anyway, now that I'm up, I can't seem to get back to sleep. The sheets under my body are heating up, and I'm just feeling so bloody uncomfortable. Blech. Trying to sleep but can't, so I thought I'd read myself to sleep and settled on reading my old blog entries.
Haiz, not the best idea. Especially not at 2am in the middle of the night, reading all the happy words I used to pen down about me and the grasshopper. How happy and hopeful and excited I used to be about us. Apparently I was the only one feeling that way. Pfft.
I wish I could muster up some energy to think about how I feel, but all I can say is meh. Whatever. Life goes on, and it's all in the past anyways. Plus, the weather is already so hot, no point getting all agitated or upset or bothered or anything.
Gotta try and channel my inner breeze and cool myself down.
Monday, May 23, 2011
If this happened on a Friday or Saturday, it's perfectly ok because a late night just translates into me sleeping in the next day. But I can't sleep in because I have to go to work. Bleh.
I've tried everything- reading a book, playing tower defense games, and .. oh wait. I've not taken my melatonin.
*looks for pills*
Let's hope this works.
[ETA: Sweet, sweet slumber finally found me. *hearts melatonin pills*]
What is commitment anyway? To me, it's deciding that this is the person that you want to be with, and giving your all- no matter what. It's knowing that the other party has the same desire to make the relationship work, and trusting that the person would put in the effort, just as you would.
And it's in that knowledge of deep commitment, that love and trust between two parties grow, and it's a constant effort in communication, listening, spending time together, and not taking each other for granted.
No relationships are easy. To think that being with "the right one" means no fights and is but a walk in the park, is foolishly naive. To think that being with "the right one" means things just fall into place and that everyone says the right thing at the right time, is imagining a sitcom or movie script.
Unfortunately, these days people give up too easily. They don't have the mettle to stick it out and make a relationship work. They choose the cowardly and easy way out, one that requires less effort.
I'm hopeful, though, that one day I'll meet someone who will decide to stick through thick and thin with me. Someone who decides that I'm worth his time and devotion, one who doesn't shirk the responsibility of being in a committed relationship. And if I don't? That's fine too. Life is too beautiful to wait for that one person. :)
Sunday, May 22, 2011
I'm gonna convince my bosses to let me take a third trip! And this third trip can be later. Wheee!
I r so crever.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
eh we will both be in aus
in diff cities
or i'll call u
its local call charges
then we talk w aussie accent
havin' a barbie?
u think u stay 2 days got accent isit
crikey is english
ok la not like we talked to each other in indian accent the last time
lol actually we were v boliao
our conversation was like this
you: this is so funny!
me: yeah hehehehe
i think we spent 5mins wasting money like this
Friday, May 20, 2011
maybe the priest who says the rapture is coming tm
will go into hiding
Bona Lee says
yah thing is
Wendy T says
sekali 11.59pm to Sunday he is still around
Bona Lee says
if u really think something as big as end of world happening
i also wont go and announce so publicly lor
sekali wrong how
at most tell ur friends la
then if wrong ... kenna suan
Wendy T says
lol well if we disappear in JB
we will smell of durian
Bona Lee says
ok this is the plan
if really rapture
we grab the mangosteen
i rather have mangosteen in heaven lor
Wendy T says
tmr i hold on to one packet
u hold on to one
Bona Lee says
more ppl will like us if we have mangosteen rather than durian
cos not so smelly .. plus taste so nice
Wendy T says
cos i dowan to smell of durian for eternity
ur so clever
Bona Lee says
Wendy T says
never say we dont plan ahead
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
So, it feels like a Monday today, but guess what? It's Wednesday! We're THAT much closer to the weekend! Woot! Imagine how big the grin on my face is.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Friday night started innocently enough. Met Ching for dinner after work, and it felt like one of those nights that you didn't want to go home so early. So we decided to head on to New Asia Bar since we didn't know where else to go. As New Asia Bar was crowded, we went down to City Space instead - a nice chill out place with ridiculously expensive cocktails. Everything was so steep - cocktails were $20 at happy hour prices! *gag*
Opened up a bottle of Moet instead, with Ching only having 2 glasses and me polishing off the rest of the bottle. We sat there, chit chatting about everything under the sun, and dissing Damian for ditching us. He finally called to ask if we wanted to go to Clarke Quay, and even before we could agree on the place and time to meet, Ching was calling for the bill. (Am I that boring? Hmmm.)
Anyway, we decided to walk to Clarke Quay, partially to kill time while Damian got ready and partially to sober up some. Classic drunk-Ching moment was when she saw a trishaw and wanted to hop on. "It used to cost 80 cents! I'll pay him $10! It's 1000% inflation OK!" (Gotta love drunk-Ching logic heeeheehee.) Obviously, I didn't let her hop on.
Made our way to Clarke Quay and met up with Damian, Janu and Stuart at Yello Jello. We opened 2 bottles of Belvedere (yummy) which we polished off fairly quickly. Band was awesome, the music in between sets was awesome and we spent the evening dancing and drinking and dancing and drinking. It was great music and good fun. Anyway, after a while, Janu decides that she wants to go to the Rupee Room. LOLOLOLOL.
The Rupee Room is, as the name suggests, a club that plays bollywood music and (not surprisingly) frequented by Indians. The 5 of us went in and got beers. And what a sight it was. 5 pale skinned outsiders waving our arms about amidst in a sea of Indian men and women. Shimmying and shaking. Hands pumping the air. Putting what little knowledge we had of bollywood dance moves to good use. Lol.
It was hilarious, and oh so ironic that I was there. I had fun though, but was glad when the night was over and we made our way back home.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
It's been 6 weeks since he made the decision to end things. Only six weeks? It feels like an eternity. As though I've lost track of time, where most of my days pass in a drunken stupor. I can't even remember what I had for dinner 2 hours ago, and yet I know exactly how many days it has been since I've had my heart ripped to shreds.
The days pass and my moods fluctuate (but thankfully, not as badly as before), there are good days and there are not-so-good days. Was having lunch with Li Min and he asked me how long it has been and immediately, without pausing to think, I replied, "5 weeks 5 days." Apparently that means I'm still not over it.
Time heals all wounds bla bla bla. I know, I know. I just wish the healing didn't take so bloody long. I just wish the random outbursts in restaurants / pubs /
Ah well, there is nothing I can do but soldier on.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Mom came to my room and asked me if I was OK. She said "If I was a witch.. I'd cast a spell on whoever makes you cry.." And then she said, "Next time you'll be singing 'who's sorry now.. who's sorry now..' "
My sister quickly called for the bill (thankfully we were done with our meal) and the girl who came over noticed that I was sobbing. And I guess I must have looked quite pathetic because she was asking me not to cry and hurriedly came over with a complimentary piece of tiramisu.
Although it took me a while to calm down again, I was touched at such a simple and thoughtful gesture. As we were leaving the restaurant, I looked out for her, and she came over with a big smile and told me, "Don't cry ma'am. Everything will be OK."
Thank you, Ariane.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
It's nice to see how some things have changed and how some things haven't. Such as how I constantly blog about
1. how sleepy I am
2. how I shouldn't drink coffee after lunch because now I cannot sleep
3. I don't wanna work
4. what to eat
The most important, most critical component in successful loving is commitment. Not love.
It's easy to love without commitment. People do it all the time. Easy to love, to give of oneself for a while. But commitment implies bonding in such a way that one promises to keep the fires of love burning indefinitely. It also means shutting one's heart to the possibility of loving another who might even be more attractive, even more lovable. Not easy. This is why solid commitments are not at all as common as we are led to believe. In fact, more often than not, I think that the commitment two lovers make are not equal. What I mean is that the commitment of one might be a whole lot more or a whole lot less than the partner's. We see it all the time. One loves more than the other and is more committed than the other. We have often seen lopsided love relationships where one partner is giving so much more to the relationship than the other.
But writers and poets seem to always indicate that love isn't just a two-way street, but an equal two-way street. That hardly ever happens. It is impossible to determine exactly how much a man loves a woman or how much a woman cares for a man. Love cannot be measured and that can be a huge problem. You can love someone and tell him "I love you" and you're telling the truth. But how much do you love him? Enough to let him court you? Enough to marry him? Enough to die for him? THE GREATEST TEST OF TRUE LOVE is commitment. And the greatest indicator of deep love is deep commitment. I have heard people say all the right words, make all the right moves and pledge undying love, only to walk away weeks or months later. Were they in love? Sure they were. But not enough to allow them to hold strong in their love. Not enough to keep a commitment regardless of the pain. Lover gets this sinking feeling when there is a sense that one is more committed than the other. When one is giving a lot more than one is receiving. When one's love is a lot more solid than the creaky love of the partner. When a couple believe strongly that their commitment to each other is rock solid, there is a deep sense of security, a feeling that it's OK to give all because the gift of yourself is safe in the hands of the beloved. If, however, there is doubt or, even worse, the conviction that one is engaged in one-way giving, in a one-way commitment that is lopsided, then there is a tendency to pull back and not give as much. And when that happens, love begins to fade.
In the countless counseling sessions I have had with troubled couples over the years, there has always been the problem of a failing commitment on the part of at least one of the partners. Unless there is the raising of the level of commitment, the relationship is doomed. It's finished. Sooner or later the stresses will take their toll and the relationship will begin to fall apart. On the other hand, look carefully at couples who are still very much in love after 20, 25 years. Their commitment to each other cannot be shaken. Neither can their love.
-Written by a well-respected marriage counsellor.
It's funny how resilient we are. One year on, I'm traveling a lot more than I ever did. I'm meeting people from all over the world and having the time of my life. I look at myself today, and I'm happy.
It was a year after I left my ex-husband, I had just met the grasshopper, and everything in my life seemed to be picking up. I had a job that I enjoyed, travelled a lot, and was in a happy place.
Today, I have faith that the words I penned down will ring true for me again. It's easy to fall into pits of despair and depression, but things aren't all that bad (even though it may seem that way).
Baby steps, Bon.
I could be lonely, sleeping without you.
And in the day, everything's complex,
There's nothing simple, when I'm not around you.
But I'll miss you when you're gone, that is what I do. Hey, baby!
And it's going to carry on, that is what I do. hey, baby...
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Rainy weather, such a welcome change from the blistering heat we've been having the past couple of days.
Hopefully the rain will ease up some, and I can head down to town for my Muay Thai class. I haven't gone all week and I'm feeling the pain of spending hundreds a month on my membership fees. Yikes.
It's amazing how quickly time passes when you're in bed. Already it's 11.20am and I'm still in my PJs. Hehehe. I did make some pasta for brunch / early lunch, so it's not like I was totally unproductive today.
Hmm I might get my nails done. They are getting too long and it's hard to type. Plus, isn't that what girls are supposed to do in their free time?
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Well, all I can say is I don't know. I don't know why it made me feel sad all over again, and even though LGG says he has to move on too, it still sucks.
So I met esdee for a pint (or three) at Harry's and we had a nice catch up. Man, I've not seen her in 14 years! We talked about all and sundry and drowned our boy-sorrows at the pub. Drinking on an empty stomach = quick buzz. Nice.
Had dinner with Sharon and Linda after. What's with me catching up with old school friends today? Lol. Treated myself to a nice steak, had a banana split and made my way home.
Emotional eater I am.
I shouldn't be getting affected by what he does, after all it's not like I tweet for his benefit. Half my tweets are ramblings about how I don't wanna wake or what I want to eat. But feelings don't make sense, do they? The heart can't help but be illogical.
So just like everything he has said and done in the past month, it's one more sign to cutting all ties between us. I wish I didn't still feel so sad, but I do.
Time to move on.
Monday, May 2, 2011
I got a text from this guy I met for drinks a couple of weeks ago. He was asking me what my plans were for the day. I said I wanted to catch a show, but didn't know what to watch, and all my girlfriends were feeling lazy. Plus, I had already watched Thor and Source Code- there really weren't any good movies in the cinema.
"I have a better suggestion," he texted. "Why don't you come over for beers and shisha ;)"
Unfortunately for him, the weather today was oh-so-lazy and I was nice and comfy under my own sheets. The idea of getting up, rolling out of bed, getting out of the house, making my way all the way to his place, having beers and shisha and who knows maybe a romp in the sack (why else would he suggest me to go over, right?), and then all the way back home, was just waaaay too much for my lazy mind to process.
Plus, I had just made some tom yum soup for lunch and thought it would be delightful to have some right now. So in the end my laziness won, and here I am in bed, sipping on some delicious tom yum soup. Slurp.
Conclusion: tom yum soup is more appealing than being someone's booty call.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
As dreams normally go, this one didn't make any sense at all. But the main gist of it was that I was fighting (a fighter?) but spent most of my time looking for my team and drinking the opponents' orange juice. Very confusing.
ETA: My dream actually continued the following night. This time, I had found my team mates and we were staying in a hostel in Russia. We took the bus out the following morning, not knowing that we were supposed to have packed up, so had to plead with the bus driver (who was Russian) to drive us back to the hostel so we could pick up our stuff.
Since the hostel was old and dilapidated, I was coughing really badly and hacked out giant balls of neon green phlegm. Gross.
Woke up with my throat slightly inflamed. Interestingly, I get these recurring hacking-giant-balls-of-phlegm/hacking-out-my-tongue type dreams when I have a sore throat.
My life doesn't suck. Far from it. There are too many awesome people in my life that make me laugh and smile and who love me so much. One less grasshopper is not that big a loss.
BentoSet chided me for still thinking about him, and said I should not want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. True dat. So got to be zen and just cherish the good moments that we had yada yada. Yawn. But being bitter and emotional makes better blog material though. Lol.
Anyway, don't need to worry so much about me. I'm ok. I think the days of sobbing inconsolably outside No5 are over. Losing one pair of glasses is enough. Still got cry, but not so much liao. Can't help the odd tear now and then, but that takes time to heal.
Am keeping myself busy and cutting down on the boozing (really).
Anyway, let's do dinner next week. (Yes, CH this blog post was written for you. You're one of the awesome people mentioned above. *hugs*)